By: Lindsay Brendel
It’s that time of year, the only (greeting card) holiday where it’s socially acceptable for an adult woman to receive an over-sized teddy bear as a gift from her significant other. And how could we forget about every type of candy that we’ve ever loved all of a sudden is now only sold in the shape of a heart for the remainder of the month?
Are you not going to be getting a teddy bear this year that weighs more than your house pet? Lacking those Snickers or Reese’s that are supposed to look like they were hand crafted by Cupid himself? Those roses didn’t get delivered to your doorstep? What!
Well then, please allow me to help you put this all-about-love-day in perspective.
Any history book I’ve ever read has clearly stated, and by history book I mean old magazines lying around my apartment, that you don’t need a stuffed animal and you don’t need a man on your hip just because it happens to be the 14th day of February. You don’t actually realize this yet, but you are in love this Valentine’s day!
Here’s what you need to do this Friday the 14th if you want to avoid a night in that has the potential to lead to cake batter that never turns into a cake and Bachelor reruns:
Start Valentine’s Day by pouring yourself a tall, dark, handsome, steaming cup of… coffee. You’re going to need it. You’re celebrating not having to celebrate Valentine’s Day, remember?
Enter- your inner Beyoncé. It’s time to call all your single ladies and alert them that it’s assembling time. Surrounding yourself with all your single friends is the only way to go.
Once all your back up dancers have arrived, now is the time to begin celebrating your freedom from dinner plans and dim lighting in an over crowded restaurant.
I believe manicures are in order. Pamper yourself because you can and you will. You’re a heart breaker with amazing nail beds - watch out men.
Now, take those sassy, single, I-don’t-need-no-man hands to the mall. Retail therapy is the real deal.
Once you’ve shopped your little-single-heart-out, time to order in some de-lish-ous pizza. Add an extra topping or two... it’s well deserved. Now this is where you and the rest of Destiny’s Child will raise a glass to the good life surrounded by great friends, hot pizza, and brand new clothes!
Laugh until you cry. What day is it again?
In no time, all the heart-shaped cookies, chocolates, pillows, cards, balloons, blankets, string lights- and even those totally unnecessary Valentine’s Day themed ice cube trays (really?) will all disappear. It was only a few hours that the entire world went all coupley on you. Your life doesn’t have to be defined by a date on a calendar. Make your own fun, your own holidays, and always celebrate - no occasion required. Life is too short to dread an entire day! In all seriousness, remember what’s important -- you and your friends were Beyoncé for a day equipped with a new wardrobe. What more could you want?